January 13, 2007

Al Gebra

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

How you made them feel ...

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Maya Angelou

January 12, 2007

Dussehra vs. Burning Man



Dussehra: The Hindu festival is mainly associated with the story of Rama based on the Ramayana, one of the two great Indian epics. Said to be set around 1000 BC in India, this epic attempts to establish the social ideals and modeled Rama as the main hero and Sita, his wife as the heroine of the whole narration. It falls in September or October and lasts ten days. Large effigies of the ten-headed Ravana, the king of Lanka who abducted Rama's wife, Sita, and was subsequently vanquished in battle, are burnt as the sun goes down. This symbolises the forces 'good' winning over the forces of 'evil'. This is followed by professional dance companies and amateur troupes. Crackers are burnt, and huge fetes are organised. Dussehra literally means ‘that which takes away ten sins.’

Burning Man: In 1986 Larry Harvey founded Burning Man at a local beach in San Francisco, and has guided its progress ever since. From its early days on a small beach through its evolution into the bustling city of some 25,000+ people that the Burning Man event has become today. These people make the journey to the Black Rock Desert for one week out of the year to be part of an experimental community, which challenges its members to express themselves and rely on themselves to a degree that is not normally encountered in one's day-to-day life. Burning Man happens in September, on the last day of the summer solstice. The event takes its name from the ritual of burning a large wooden sculpture of a man on the sixth day.

Dussehra: The ten heads of Ravana represent loathing, desire, envy, selfishness, dishonesty, obsession, gluttony, rage, passion and pride.

Burning Man: The 10 principles of Burning Man are radical inclusion, gifting, decommodification, radical self-reliance, radical self-expression, communal effort, civic responsibility, leaving no trace, participation, and immediacy.

Q: Do you see the Burning Man on a mythic level?
Larry Harvey: Myth and ritual tend to deal with primordial experience, primal experience, and our ways of rehearsing, recreating such primal events and reenacting them in a way that sort of transcends rationality, and I see it that way very much. It seems to me, that if you're talking about ritual around the man himself, it seems to me that that recapitulates certain kinds of primordial experience, certainly preverbal experience on an individual level, that more or less transcends culture. I'm talking about experiences that happen before we could speak and before we knew who we are, or while we were in the process of defining who we are.

January 04, 2007

Toyota for the tipsy

Confucious says: Man who drives like hell bound to get there.

Toyota have announced that they would be installing a fail-safe system for cars that detects drunken drivers and automatically shuts the vehicle down if sensors pick up signs of excessive alcohol consumption. Cars fitted with the detection system will not start if sweat sensors in the driving wheel detect high levels of alcohol in the driver's bloodstream. This is commendable and would be interesting to see how the system works once launched.

Meanwhile, for those of us with no system to check if the bloke on the highway is drunk or not, here are a few tips to spot the tipsy behind a wheel –
• Makes wide turns.
• Straddles the center line or weaves back and forth.
• Exceeds the speed limit or drives unusually slow.
• Comes close to hitting another vehicle or object.
• Drives off the road or into an oncoming lane of traffic.
• Swerves, drifts or follows too closely.
• Stops for no reason or turn abruptly or illegally.
• Signals inconsistently or drives at night with no headlights.

Here's your typical drunk driver!




Remember, drunk drivers are dangerous and may not be avoidable. If you suspect someone is driving drunk, keep your distance, jot down the license plate number and call the authorities.

View this video of a drunk driver who has been hauled up! He could be driving on the very road that you are on!



And here's a test for those who've poured their 'one for the road'...

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
• Indubitably
• Innovative
• Preliminary
• Proliferation
• Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
• Specificity
• British Constitution
• Passive-aggressive disorder
• Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
• Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
• Nope, no more booze for me.
• Sorry, but you're not really my type.
• Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight.

While we live
Let’s live.

January 03, 2007

If they can be friends ...

January 02, 2007

Happiness ...

Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have.

Adrift in vibrations

Sound Therapy is the relatively new idea of healing, comforting, curing and inspiring with music and sound. Vibrations are considered the first cosmic manifestation and scientists view the universe as a continuum of movement expressing itself as an interplay of vibrations and that all things in existence are made up at their most essential level of vibrating, pulsing energy. Sonic rhythms have a definite effect on both physical and mental health. Just as much as sound played at very high frequencies can shatter glass, music can heal our wounds and replenish our life force.

Music such as those of Mozart's has a temporary IQ up sizing and effect the creative development of children. Music can help you overcome obstacles of everyday life - from pain to procrastination, relaxation to romance. Music in this context does not necessarily just meet the ear, but has profound implications for enhancing human abilities and energies. Let us see how the music that envelops us can have an effect on our wellness.

Since times immemorial, kings have employed musicians to soothe and heal them during times of stress and illness. Bach composed his Goldberg Variations for the Russian envoy Count Kayserling who complained of insomnia. The composition was played every night by a harpsichordist and soon the nobleman was snoring. Baroque music from the 17th century has always helped people learn faster.

Pythagoras, Plato and Aristotle related music to the mathematical structure of the cosmos. Music, through harps and flutes, chants and folk songs has always mellowed the soul. A mother always comforts a tired child with a lullaby. Reading poetry with a well-modulated voice, with beautiful words and pleasing meter, could restore balance to the soul. Places of worship always resonate with audio waves. Music is an integral part of most forms of Meditation. All of them 'heal' with the spirituality of sonic energy.

No matter what the form of music they are all therapeutic, uplifting, relaxing, creative, energising, beautiful and affirmative. The mind is easiest absorbed in music. Medical science has recognised the autonomic, immune, endocrine and neuropeptide effect that music has on the human body - music is today used to help relieve pain and stress in hospitals. Research into the subject has given birth to Cymatics - a study of patterns evoked by sound and its influence on matter.

Vibrations are believed to be absorbed by the bones of the skull and not alone by the middle ear. The auditory nerve is connected directly with most of the cranial nerves, including the vagus which reaches the back muscles, larynx, lungs, heart and other organs - thus sonic vibrations give the body an electrical charge. Chanting with its focus on the higher and middle frequencies, combined with attentive listening energises the body. Tibetian chanting aims to collect the energy from the cosmos through the ear and harness this energy which gives life to man and helps see his vitality and to awaken the higher consciousness.

Infinite thoughts

Just a Second
A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt very close to nature and even close to God. He felt so close to God that he felt if he spoke God would listen.
So he asked, "God, are you listening?"
And God replied, "Yes my son, I am here."
The man stopped and pondered some more.
He looked towards the sky and said, "God, what is a million years to you?"
God replied, "Well my son, a second to me is like a million years to you."
So the man continued to walk and to ponder... walk and ponder... Then he looked to the sky again and said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God replied, "My son, my son...a penny to me is like a million dollars to you. It means almost nothing to me. It does not even have a value it is so little."
The man looked down, pondered a bit and then looked up to the sky and said, "God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replied, "In a second."



Men are Four
He who knows and knows that he knows,
He is wise - follow him.


He who knows and knows not that he knows,
He is asleep - awaken him.


He who knows not and knows that he knows not,
He is simple - teach him.


He who knows not and knows not that he knows not,
He is a fool - shun him.



Man to God : "O Lord, I want peace".
God to Man : "When you remove yourself of 'I' and the 'want' you will automatically have peace."


When two psychic friends met, one said: "You are fine. How am I ?"


When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the waiter a $20 bill.
The waiter pocketed the bill.
The Yogi said "Don't I get change?"
The waiter said, "Change must come from within."


"Procrastinate now"
"My Karma ran over my Dogma!!"
"Never drive faster than your angel can fly!!"
"I'd rather be in Samadhi"
"Out of body. Will be back in 15 minutes!"
"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"


I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?


The Torah says,"Love thy neighbor as thyself."
The Buddha says there is no "self."